iTrust... nothing to do with Steve Jobs.

First I'm sad to hear of Steve Job's passing, but this has nothing to do with it. So on to what I have to say (cuz that's why we are all here. I think this blog is making me a bit egocentric). Life has been tricky lately as  I continue to search for a fulltime job, or at least a job that I can start paying on some student loans soon. As the time approaches when I'll have to start paying on them, the more stressful it gets, and the more trusting in God in starting to get harder. But then God sent me a little message about this all.

As I was driving to Columbus for a funeral I was flipping through radio stations. It turns out the my presets from NE Ohio don't work in central Ohio... shocking I know. (Side note, the funeral was for a man I never met but father of a friend. His name was Rich and after hearing about his life I truly can't wait to meet that man in heaven. Inspire man who's life was taken to soon but I know God will use.) As I scanned to the right for the 20th time in the last few minutes (music ADD) I heard a preacher. Typically I'm not prone to listening to radio preachers but I was intrigued for whatever reason. I stopped to listen. He was talking about Job. He said one thing that went directly to my heart and then my head(the usual route things take for me) and I started to think about it. During the entire time Job was being basically tortured by Satan, God never spoke to him. Job pleaded and begged at times and had no idea, yet God was silent, and Job was faithful. Talk about a challenge from God. Here I am whining because I've been praying for the last few months about a job and not heard anything (ironic that Job and job are spelled the same huh) and Job was devastated. EVERYTHING he had was taken from him. Including his family and health, yet he was faithful to God through it all, even though he heard nothing. Maybe I need to rethink my frustration towards God!

So here's the plan... to trust God. To trust Him if I lose my job and go bankrupt, to trust God if I get some disease, to trust God if I lose my friends and family, to trust God if I'm laying on my death bed feeling I'm to young to die. While these seem maybe a bit extreme, I've realized that as much as I may fear the unknown, I don't need to. I simply need to trust. As much as I have no idea what the next month or week holds, much less the next few years, I don't need to. Yeah I want a job and I want to move to Columbus and I want to do the things that I think will make my life happy, I must trust that the plan God has for me are so far beyond what I could ever imagine. I am confident that when I look back at this post years from now that I will chuckle a bit. I will think to myself, man if you only knew back then what I know now. But I can't get there unless I trust God and just give it to Him and let it go. Regardless of what may happen the rest of my life, I know the end and I know the final outcome. What amazing joy to know that we need not worry about our futures because we have a God who loves us so much and knows exactly the things we need.

Well it is time for this long winded writer to be done. As always I'd love to hear from you if you have anything to say. I encourage you to comment on here or email me at optimisticprime15@gmail.com. With much love and prayer,
OptimisticPrime

Sometimes we enter into a relationship...

So recently, between reading through Psalms and David's relationship with God and a blog I read, I came to a realization about myself. It started after I read a blog
( http://calebhickerson.wordpress.com/2011/08/31/repentance/  this blog in fact. Check it out). At one point he says how God wanted him to have a relationship and love God. Whether he intended it to mean this or God spoke to me through that, it made me think. What have my relationships looked like and what has my relationship with God looked like.

 Lets start by looking at a relationship with a woman. First, I pursue her. I make sure she knows I'm interested in her. I do things so that I can be close to her. And then I make sacrifices so that I can do things with her. And then I thought about my relationship with God. I sit. I talk to Him and I read some of the things He has to say. But do I pursue Him? Wow, what a realization I had. Granted I like God and I wanna be near Him and be in his presence, but where is the urgency and desire? I don't sacrifice other things to be near Him. For girlfriend I may skip doing something I wanted to do to be able to be with her. With God, I try to see where the crack in my schedule are so that I can try and stuff God in there.

 I've known for a long time that I have issues with prioritizing God, but this somewhat slapped my in the face. The things I am willing to do for someone who is human and I will be with for, at most, 60 or 70 years. Why am I not willing to do that for my creator. For the God that loves me so much, He is willing to let me make stupid mistake in order for my love for Him to be real. He loved me so much that died in order for me to continue to live. He was a perfect example of love and of what I should desire to be, yet I still find myself trying to fit God into my already tightly packed schedule.

I have talked about how, if we pursue God that life and joy and happiness flows from that. However, you can see how well I practice some of the things I know. It's just hard for me to first seek God and just simply trust that He will provide time and energy for the rest. But He does, and He will. I must learn to pursue and seek God, like He will pursue me. Praise God that He is so great, even when I am so ... not great.

Love ya'll

OptimisticPrime

More From My Readings

So I’ve finally finished reading C.S. Lewis’s Mere Christianity. Again, if you haven’t read that book or haven’t read it in a while please consider picking it up, or repicking it up as it may be. Either way, this book has been challenging and enlightening for me. The beginning of the book discusses the validity of Christ and whether or not He could be a Savior and God. The latter part of the book starts to challenge maybe some of the ideas of Christianity that I know I had and perhaps you have too. Things that made me reevaluate my Christian walk and my life as a “Christian.” It has been really good for me and again I encourage you to read it. If you want a copy please contact me and I may be able to help you out. 

Anyhow, a few things kind stuck out to me in the last few chapters and it’s something I wanted to do a short blog about. First there is the idea that Christianity a fix to your problems. Perhaps, but as C.S. Lewis explains, it goes beyond the problems we see. The thing is, when we ask God to change us, He is not looking to just change the things we know are wrong. When we ask for Him and seek Him, He is going to shake our world. C.S. Lewis uses the analogy of a house. He moves in and fixes the immediate issues. He stops the dripping pipes and leaking roof and all the things we saw were bad, but He doesn’t stop there. He starts making renovations. These are, often, not easy things and we can’t not see exactly what He is doing. We see this cottage we think should be there, but He is creating a palace to live in. It doesn’t make sense to us, but He sees it. This has been what has started happening in my life over the past almost year now. He has come in and stopped all the things that I knew were wrong, but then He went beyond. He started making me uncomfortable. I didn’t mind the things I knew were wrong and I thought I was good then. However, He broke my heart, that didn’t seem to necessary. It was, however, exactly what was necessary to teach my things I didn’t know I needed to learn.  Another example from my personal life is this whole job situation. I think I have enough patience, yet here God is testing my patience and growing it. It’s uncomfortable and at times it sucks a lot. But I have to trust that He knows what he’s doing. It’s been tough but an incredible blessing to see God changing me in places and growing me in ways I didn’t know where necessary or needed changing. I am so in love with a God who is willing to break me at times to grow me into what I need to be. 

It was also interesting in the last few chapters where Lewis talks about blessings. One things Jesus said was, and I am paraphrasing, that it is harder for a richer man to get into heaven than for camel to go through the eye of a needle. Well that’s not problem, cuz I’m definitely not rich. However, Lewis goes on to explain that it can be riches in other areas of your life. For me, I have an amazing family who I love. I’ve grown up in a good environment and even had a Christian up bringing. This whole Christianity thing should be a cake walk. However, it has been far from that and for many years I was far from the example of a Christian man. So God allowed me to make some horrible mistakes and do a lot of stupid things. He allowed me to make myself much poorer than I was in that area in order to be able to see my need to seek and desire Him. How awesome is a God that knows me that well! Just amazing. 

Well, like I said before, you should read or reread Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. It has been an awesome book for me. Whether you are a “new” Christian, “old” Christian, or non-Christian, it’s worth picking up. And as always, please contact me with any questions, comments or concerns. My e-mail address is optimisticprime15@gmail.com. And let me know if you want a copy of Mere Christianity and I will do my best to help you out. 

With love always,

Optimisticprime 

A Short Sabbatical...

So it's been a while. No I wasn't on a sabbatical, I'm just a habitual slacker. BUT God has been doing some cool stuff and teaching me a lot and since I have a soap box... I'm going to tell whoever stops by to listen. As with the theme of the rest of my life God has been doing a lot of work with me in the areas of patients and love. I've been reading a book (and you should too because it's been amazing) called Mere Christianity. If you haven't read it you should. It's by C.S. Lewis who also wrote the Chronicles of Narnia. He was an atheist who became a Christian. But this book has been both challenging and eye opening to me.

First things first. One of the biggest things that has hit me in the book in my need to stop focusing on the wrong things. My focus has been on myself, on people around me, on school, work, etc... All of these things are bad things to be looking at, but they won't change my life. It hit me reading last week that the only thing I can do is focus on Christ. EVERY part of me should be focusing on Him. His glory, His love, His faithfulness. All else flows from that. My ability to love other and serve others flows from that. My desire and passion flows from that. Even things like my stress over getting a job and having an ability to live will be satisfied and flow from my focus on Christ. It's such a freeing feeling to know that if I simply focus on Christ and make Him my sole number 1 desire and focus, that life will flow from that. This doesn't mean that I won't have struggles or pain or anything like that. It simply means that He will supply 100% of what I need. And when I do that, He will be 100% glorified. When I can push myself aside and everything else away from the forefront of my vision, God provides the rest and is glorified. 

From that I realized that I have to stop being so worried about my future. I've been so impatient with God on getting me a job. (Side note for what I'm about to write, I live about 2 1/2 from my girlfriend) On wanting to live closer to my girlfriend because long distance just stinks. But then I realized I was focusing on myself. If I am patient, focus on Christ, all that will flow from it. He will provide exactly what I need and exactly when I need it and all this is building who I am so that I can serve Him. It's NOT about ME. PERIOD! How freeing and liberating is that? I love my Creator who has giving me everything I need to serve Him. What a absolute glorious God and speechless feeling. 

How great is God :D. As always if you ever have any questions or want to tell me something or simply want to vent, you are always welcome to do one of two things. You can leave a comment on here and I will respond. The second thing you can do is to email me at optimisticprime15@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you and will do my best to respond to whatever or be an ear to listen.

Ok now I want some feedback... hopefully... if people actually read this. Anyhow. As you can tell I'm bad at this whole spontaneously writing and it tends to come and go a little. So I was thinking about doing like a weekly or biweekly blog instead of whenever I decide to. Just a thought and wanted some feedback, for real this time. 

With love,

Optimisticprime 

I Will Praise You in This Storm...

"I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands for You are who You are no matter where I am every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand You never left my side and though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm" -Casting Crowns


These lyrics have been powerful in my life. It hasn't been until recently, however, that I was able to find the power of praising good through rough parts of my life. I know I'm twenty some years old, how do I know what rough is? I'm not saying my life is rough, but it hasn't all GREAT either. But anyhow, I'm getting ahead of myself. What I'm trying to say is I've looked at this song often when life is (for me anyhow so far) really tough. I have learned to praise God then (which may be another blog all together). It's also easy for me to praise God when things are GREAT and everything is fitting. But what about the times when everything is ok and things just are...


This is where I currently am. I'm fresh outta college, I have the world at my fingertips, but I have no idea where to go. It's easy for me to praise God when things are under control or when things are completely outta control that God is my only answer. It's when things are just out of my reach. I need a job, plain and simple. I want to be able to pay off all my loans and debts so I can be free for God to use me. But I have been doing everything I can to get a job. I have been talking to people. I have been putting in applications. I I I I I I I... This is where I am starting to realize my problem. I need to start trusting God with EVERY part of my life. That doesn't mean stop trying to get a job, but I do need to start praying about it A LOT more. It's easy to pray when I have an interview, "God help this go well, blah, blah, blah (ok not exactly how I pray). or when I have a tough decision. But here, now, I find it so hard to let go of the stress and worry and KNOW that God is in control. I was just telling a good friend that I know God will take me where He needs me and allow this and that, yet I try so hard to assume what He is going to do. At least I think I told him, I may have simply thought htis during our discussion. Regardless, it's true. I have my future all planned out, and I'm trying to do everything in my power to make it happen. And, I know I told my friend this, is what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid God is going to use this situation to stretch me and my faith. Partly afraid because I know it'll hurt, but I also know that if He does, what I will be after this.


Imagine a God that has our best interest in mind regardless of what we see. A God that knows what we need even when we don't. A very wise brother of mine once told me, we see the trees but God sees the forest. This idea, that even when we think we know what is best, God still know better. To have a faith in my God like that... Man that is what I desire. I want to have that kind of faith in God. I hope you do as well. I hope you know the freedom in knowing that God is in control, even when life is not. In writing this blog, I have finally started to feel that again. Thank you all for baring with me through this reflection time... but man, I don't have to worry. I can apply and talk to people and look for jobs, but my stress isn't there because God WILL provide. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt (at least for the time being, until Satan helps me doubt) that even if I end up jobless within the next few months that God has something going on and He still will provide. Now that is a little extreme and I hope He doesn't, but that is the kinda faith we see in the Bible and the kinda faith we should have. 


You know it's amazing how my blogs never end up where I thought the would when I start. O well, it was good for me. I hope you were able to get a little something as well. Something I haven't said before is if you ever have any question about what I talk about or faith or God or any of this jazz, please, feel free to contact me. I hope to stay somewhat anonymous so  e-mai at optimisticprime15@gmail.com (who knew someone else would use optimisticprime...). I don't
promise to have all the answer, or any of the answers, but I will do my best to point you in the right
direction or in contact with someone who has more answers than me. 


As always with love,
Optimistic Prime

You know what really grinds my gears?

So I've decided to rant. I've been really frustrated about this topic for a long time and now I have a small, very very small, pedestal from which to rant. I told you that not every topic on my blog would be about my faith. A majority? Yes, because it's a huge aspect in my life. However, this one was just waiting to burst. OK, enough with the preamble to this declaration of insanity and here goes. For all you who hate sports, this is about sports, however, don't give up just yet.

So this whole OSU debacle has come about and made me wonder what what is going on. I've thought about this and about college sports and professional sports and all that. Here, what I think, is the issue. WE ARE. Every sports fan who pays ridiculous amounts of money for games and memorabilia. Some may say "supply and demand." You are exactly right, and that is the issue. If we did have sports as such a high priority and idolize these athletes would all this be such an issue? It says something when our country is in the midst of a recession and pro athletes want more money. When so many people don't have jobs yet we still pack the seats for Saturday and Sunday football. I'm no less to blame then anyone else because this summer I'm be sporting my Tigers apparel and next fall my U of M gear and Wings paraphernalia. ( I wonder if I can use another word for sports stuff?) When it comes down to it, we value sports A LOT and students in college are going to be focused on there sports over their academics in to many cases because of what we did. It's not just OSU (and no I'm not writing this because I'm a Michigan fan). It was Michigan at one point in basketball, and look at Newton and Bush. If you wanna make money off of your college career, WAIT FOUR YEARS. I guess greed may have a little to do with it too (still think that's our society too). College should not be about what you can make off of what you did on the field, that's why these rules are in place. You should be there to GET AN EDUCATION. That's what college is for, right? Maybe I missed the point my five years (I liked it so much I extended my stay). Needless to say I think that it's all kinda silly either way. The fact that people are so angry about this whole situation speaks to what I've just said. Think about this as I end this horribly controversial blog. How many of you read my blogs before and liked them or did like them or whatever and didn't comment? Until this point, how many of you were about to comment just now? What does that say? (Please still feel free to comment as always)

Ok I will end it hear. I love you readers regardless if you agree or disagree with this blog. I know that you may now think that I am a total fool for even thinking that this blog, this one particularly or the whole blasted thing, was a good idea. Either way, I hope that this doesn't split my small, limited readership. I know that this may make some of you very angry and I hope that you can take a deep breath and come back and see me for my next blog. But know that this is just one lonely mans opinion. In the grand scheme of things, it won't win my friends or save any souls. I hope you understand I just want you to think about this whole situation from a perspective that you, perhaps, didn't see. In the end, I still think love is important. Beyond the football, the baseball, the basketball, and (for the limited few) the hockey. Many of us enjoy sports to much for this to probably change any time soon. Even now as I finish this up I wonder why I even bothered to write something about this when it has no value on our eternal salvation. Will this help me to influence any of your lives? Paul didn't believe in some of the Jewish customs, yet he did them so he could relate. So, again, take a deep breath and PLEASE come back for a blog when I talk about things that I think TRULY matter, or perhaps I'll rant on something meaningless again. Either way I'll try to make it somewhat entertaining.

WITH LOVE,
                 Optimistic Prime (I think I shall start signing my blogs like this. Yes or no?)

LOVE THIS!!!

I've posted this a lot but it helps to remind me how to love, enjoy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WybvhRu9KU

What is Love... Part 2...1/2 or something.

So I was thinking about this whole love thing today and just started thinking about God's love for me. It made me think about the unconditionality (yes I use my own made up words from time to time) of it. I think that it may have been implied but I think I want to say it. Our love of other people should be similar to that of God's for us. No we can't do it perfect, because we aren't perfect. However, I think it's important to see the humanity in people. A few weeks ago, ok months ago, we talked about forgiveness in church. One of the important things we talked about was seeing the humanity of those who have hurt us. At that point we can begin to forgive. There is a lot more context to that that is important, however, I think seeing the humanity in people can also help us love people. It can help us to love them beyond the flaws we see. Love them regardless of the mistakes we think they make. As I sit here on my lunch break and work and just looking at some of the people I work with that I can find hard to love. It's important for me to a) see their humanity and realize they are no more or less of a human than me and b) to love them despite what I don't like and despite what they may do. Why? Because that's how God loved me. Not because what I can do for Him or what I can bring to His table, but because He's crazy about me and thinks the world of me because I am me. Exactly as I am. It's a strange concept to think about love people for no reason and I don't think it's cultural at all. We are born looking for people to give us something to make us like them. Anyhow, this entry is starting to ramble and my break is almost up. Time to go love some people. Next time you get angry and frustrated with someone, stop and see their humanity. To those of you who read this, I love you guys.

What is love... Part 2

Well I wanted to update my blog much sooner. However, for the past almost week I've been gone and just recently go back into town. For those of you who are interested, it was a great weekish. So my last blog I left is somewhat of a cliff hanger. So I will attempt to answer what I believe it is to love. Or at least the small understanding that I have from what God has taught me.

I grew up, as I said, in a Mennonite church. While there was a lot of good in my church, there was also some legalism (not isolated to Mennonite churches by any means, just my experience). There was a lot of making sure you do the right things and follow all the right "rules" especially on Sunday. That leads to a whole other topic on a 24/7 Christian life, however, back to my topic that I will actually finish...maybe. All these rules just seemed to lead to judgement. I look at people and what they were or weren't doing. It was almost normal to sit around with friends and just talk about people. "Did you hear what ______ did?" All these things that were just tearing people down, and ultimately, destroying the church. It wasn't until I started to learn what love was that I realized that this was just selfish and wrong. So what did I learn? I learned that I need to see the good in people. I need to see past the things I think. Nowhere in the Bible does it tell me that I should judge my brothers and sisters. It does say I should love. I also realized that Matthew 7:3 was very relevant to my life. I was spending so much time look at others that I missed myself. Often the things that bothered me in others were things I saw in myself. However, what I truly needed to do was learn to love myself and then love others. Love was not seeing what people did wrong, but loving them and caring about them despite it. Once I began to learn that, it was amazing how my attitude towards people changed. I no longer was angry or bitter at them, but I was longing for them to feel loved. It was no longer about what they did or didn't do, but what I could do so that they know I love them. I do not claim that I do this perfect, or even well, but God is working on me still, and forever will be. But learning to see people through God's eyes and not through mine is one of the biggest steps in my faith I think I've ever made. There is so much that can be done and such an impact if we simply loved. Imagine if all those who said they were Christians loved in the way Christ did. What kind of impact would that have? A good place to start is by looking at yourself and to be an example of Christ's love to the world.

On a lighter note, I've graduated college, finally. It only took me five years... Any ideas what to do with my life now?

What is love? Baby don't hurt me....

So love. What a huge powerful, meaningful word that can do so much. Yet, it is tossed around every day like it's simply nothing. "Man, I love that car." "I love cheeseburgers. Their taste dances on my tongue." You get the idea, and probably also understand I enjoy a good cheeseburger. However, is it all the same? John Mark McMillan talks about this in a commentary to a song he wrong called How He Loves and how there are different kinds of love. Has that word become so overused that it has lost it's real meaning? Do we as people know how to love one another?

In 1 John 3:18 it says, "Dear children, let's not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. (New Living Translation)" I look around at our country, at our world, and wonder if we as humans are truly capable of loving our fellow humans.

Over the past few years, God has been working on my heart and mind about this idea of love. A verse that comes to mind is Mark 12:31. The basic idea is love others as you love yourself. Well that was easy for me. More for the fact that I was a self-loather than the fact I could easily love people. When you don't love yourself, it's easy not to love the rest of the people. So maybe the key to this was to love myself first.

For that we have to delve into the question of loving me. Why couldn't I love me? I think one of the biggest reasons for why it is so hard for me to love myself is because of where I find my value (As a side note, I do not have this all figured out by any means. This is simply where God has brought me so far). For far too long I have looked to other people to find out who I am. I look around at the people in my life, the society I live in, the groups I "run" with to find out who I should be and what is acceptable. I focused so much energy on trying to decipher the right things to do that I completely lost who I was. While there were times I liked myself, when you are trying to please everyone, you eventually become so burned out and weighed down you kind of start to hate yourself. Hence, I became a self-loather.

All this to say, God has shown me that there is no way I can ever be happy with myself until I find a definite and constant source to find my identity. Simply put, Him. I've slowly been moving my identity from the people around me to God. When I look to God, I am a man, who is loved. Not because I did something or deserve it, but because God loves me. With that, there is never someone I have to please, because He is pleased with me for who I truly am. Only after I finally learned to start at least liking myself because I am God's creation, can I start seeing others as they truly are. Beautiful creations of God, regardless of anything. Only after I began to love myself could I even fathom loving someone else.

So looking back over my post... I never answered what I started with. Do we still know how to love? Well maybe I will save that for next time because this has gone on far too long.

An Introduction

Ok so here goes whatever this is. I'm a twenty something year old post college student with a lot of ideas... and no where to put them. So here they are. Wrapped up in this neat little thing called a blog. I think the inspiration goes to my brother and sister who have started blogging as well. If they can do it, so can I. Perhaps not as well, but there will be posts.

So what is this blog going to be all about? I'm not sure where it's going to go. Because I recently graduated with a degree in education, I'm sure it will involve some of my teaching. I've also been dabbling in poetry, so it may contain some of that. I have also been looking into my faith and what I believe about Christ. I can promise you it will contain that. My life has be an interesting roller coaster of events to make me who I am, so this will also contain some personal lessons I've learned. Before I continue to aimless explain what you are going to read perhaps you should know some more about me.

From a young age, I grew up in a conservative family, conservative community, conservative life. I was conservative. To the point that I went to a conservative mennonite school through eighth grade. For High School I went to a public school, which was somewhat life changing. However, it was still a conservative community. For college I went to a state college that is, well easily put, completely not conservative. And that is where my life has been for the last 5 years (yeah 4 year degree, I know). My perspective may not be as unique as I'd like to think it may be, but I like the perspective on life that I have. (While we are on the topic about how I think, I think I'm hilarious so be warned. I promise there will be lame jokes and stupid puns, but back to the topic at hand.) I am a self proclaimed optimist. If you've ever seen the play Spamalot or seen the movie The Holy Grail, you may know the song Always Look On the Bright Side of Life... that pretty much explains it. I may be optimistic to the point of my own demise, but it's me and I like it.

Well enough about me and this blog. I'm sure to have a lot of spare time this summer so I'm sure that I will be back before long. I promise the next post to be something of substance. But, as the title of this post said, it was simply an introduction to what this is. Hope you enjoy. If you don't... well then don't read it.