About a week ago, my brother spoke at church about addiction. This led me to seek more deeply the thought of addiction and idols in my own life. So here goes.
Typically we think of idols as things we worship. Money, sex, power, etc... However, the more I have thought about it, the more I realize that idols are simply anything that take the place of God in our lives. The idols in our lives are simply the things in our lives in which God is not the forefront of our thoughts and priority. The times when these are most evident are times during which we are stressed, frustrated, hurt, or emotionally charged. The things we turn to at these times apart from God are the things in our lives we hold as idols. For me it was, and is, numerous things. I have held or do hold relationships, food, and sexual sins. I have turned to those, any others, for comfort during the times when things got "hard". For others, it may be alcohol, tv, sports or any other numerous things. The things we turn to instead of God in times of trouble are things that are idols. The things that make us feel better and comfort us. Now, this isn't to say that when we are sad we shouldn't eat some ice cream sometimes or enjoy comfort food. They shouldn't, however, take the place of God in our lives. Here is the perspective God has been working to show my in my life. When I turn to other things apart from Him to fill voids or cover emotions, I am trying to find a way apart from God to solve these issues. I am not relying on Him to fill all my needs, like we are called to do. I am attempting to find my own way, and my own path apart from Him. The problem with these idols is that every time I would turn to them, or do turn to them, I end with the same feeling. Disappointment, pain, self loathing, guilt, or other feelings of failure. Which makes me want to dive into more of the same idol.
Even worse that the feelings that follow these idols, is the feeling of dependency in which we can find on in those idols. One issue I had from a young age through adulthood is the issue of pornography. While God has given me freedom throughout various times in my life, I have struggled on and off with it from a young age. When I first began to notice it as a sin and idol in my life is when I would go months with no relapse, only to fall back into a pattern of sin. All of those times were inevitably entered into during a time of stress, uncertainty, or fear. I I would have only consciously decided to seek God during these times, how much better off would I be? But then you may not be reading these words. Regardless, I am thankful for God's grace in my life and for His life apart from my sin. The greatest thing about God, is that He loves me and there is nothing I can do about it.
All that to say, that perhaps it's healthy for us to look at our own lives. Take time to be introspective. Ask God to show you what idols you have bee turning to, seeking comfort. Do you turn to alcohol to numb the feelings? Do you sit down in front of the TV to escape reality? Do you run through your pain to escape? Do you seek comfort in food or a relationship with the opposite sex? Where do you need to learn to seek God first and foremost?
As you look at your own idols, please know one thing. If you take this seriously and begin to look into yourself and seek God, know that Satan will test you. The closer we get to God, the hard Satan will fight to keep us away. Chance are, you'll also fail, but know God love you. He is mad about you. There is NOTHING you can do to earn His love nor His salvation, and there is nothing you can do to stop Him from loving you. We must know our Identity in Christ. For more on that, I believe I have a blog somewhere in the past.
Ok, that's it for today but there is another blog shorty to follow. I feel as if this has been some muddled thoughts, but my prayer is that someone out there needed to hear this and seeks God. If you need someone to talk to, have a prayer request, or just have thoughts or ideas, my email is optimisticprime15@gmail.com and feel free to comment here. I love you all already. Please feel free to share this on facebook, twitter, google+, or other social media. Talk to you again soon.
Optimistic Prime!!
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