So I have been doing something new at work recently. I have been working as a carpenter this summer. Typically I will put in ear buds that help cut the noise, turn on some music, and go into my own little base coping world (trim words sorry). Well lately, instead of listening to The Avett Brothers or Trampled By Turtles (both bands you should check out if you like banjos), I have been listening to some books on tape or various sermons by one of my favorite pastors, Mike Smith. Well I finally finished the book, Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. I've only started the book roughly a dozen times. This is the first time I've actually finished it. I have a theory that the Devil finds a way to make me to busy when I'm reading a really good book that could really change my perspective. Ok so that was way to long to get to where I am going.
Either way, something really struck me last few parts I listened to of Blue Like Jazz. Donald Miller was talking about love. If you've read some of my older blogs, you would realize how important I think love is in our Christian walk. Well two things struck me that Miller said about love. The first was how important it is that we love ourselves. In Mark 12:31, Jesus says that we must love our neighbors as ourselves. In Blue Like Jazz (it takes to much time to type that all our so from here on out BLJ...which I will probably not mention again), Miller talks about our inability to love others if we can't first love ourselves. Our ability to fulfill this commandment from Christ is almost impossible, unless we can stop being so self loathing. This struck me hard as I was nailing some base on a wall (more trim words). Maybe you don't struggle with this. Maybe you love who you are, and if so, I applaud you. I, however, am self loathing, self deprecating, and, for the most part, never pleased with who I am. As Donald talks in his book, it is incredibly important we are able to love ourselves. Our inability to love ourselves is a symptom of our inability to accept Christ's love for us. In looking down our ourselves, we are saying that Christ did not create me right, He messed up, and his grace and love isn't enough... Yowza. If we can just accept Christ's love and realize that we are made EXACTLY the way we are supposed to be. When we can be ok with who God has made us, THEN we can start to love those around us. We can begin to pour out our love on those around us. I think, at that point, we can't help but love others. When we finally fully accept Christ's love, it will infect your entire life. Man is that a hard point to get to though. We will never, I think, fully understand the depth and expanse of Christ's love. When we can understand, however, that it covers any sin. That Christ loves us to no end. I need to accept that more.
The second thing that struck me was how we should love Christ. Donald tells a story of a friend who was visiting different churches and ministries and asking them questions about what they do that works and general questions about faith. As he sat across from the leader of a large organization. A big, fairly burly man sitting behind a large, oak desk. He looked at the man and asked him who Jesus is to him. The man couldn't answer but simply began to weep. Christ affected him so much, and he loved Christ so much that all he could do was weep and the mention of His name. I know Christ, and I understand what He did and I am grateful. Am I, however, in a relationship with Christ to the point that I love Him that much that I weep for Him. Maybe you aren't the weeping type, but the emotions that thinking of Christ elicit. I am 41 days away from being married to an amazing woman. I think about the ways I love her. I love to tell others about how wonderful she is. Ok some of this is engagement/puppy love I know. But I love her. I can't help but talk about her (in good ways). My love for Christ should be even deeper. It should affect me even more. That hit me even harder. That truth slammed me hard. I know Christ. I think He's pretty cool. I even fear God. But do I love Him to that depth? As Donald says, it takes a relationship to reach that point. You need to be seeking to know Christ. You must be longing to know His character. Just like I love my smoking hot future wife (as my friend Brian says. Side note, check out his hilarious podcast Review Everything Podcast. It's worth a listen) because I know her. I love her more because I know her more. I need to get to know Christ to love Him more. The more I seek Him and i understand the depth of who Christ is, the more I will love Him. I think the biggest question that remains is if I am willing to put in the work to get to know Christ and do I have the longing to know Christ to the point I love Him that deeply.
Well that was intended to be a short blog, that seemed to have more elicit more than I thought from my heart and mind. I hope you received some truth from this as well. If you have any questions or anything to say, please comment or e-mail me at optimisticprime115@gmail.com. I love you all already and there is nothing you can do about it.
With Love,
Optimistic Prime
P.S. As always, if you enjoy this or something hits you, share it with others. My hope is just to get the words God put on my heart out there. I figured He put me there for a reason.
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