You know, it's amazing how sure we can be that God wants us to do something. Yet, how quickly give up when it seems uneventful, unexciting, or not what WE hoped for. It is so hard for me to completely trust God, and not think that I know better because I am living it. I look at this blog and have no idea what God may be doing or who He may be affecting, but I gave it up simply because I didnt see anything, and I "didn't have time". But that's not what I wanted to talk about this time.
First an update. I am back in NE Ohio after living in Columbus for about a year and a half. I really felt that God wanted me back near my family right now. Maybe it's due to parents getting older or who knows, I jut felt it's where I needed to be. I also just completed my first year of teaching. The first 6 months were at a charter school in Columbus. (Side note, if you are a teacher... REALLY REALLY research a charter school before you take a job at one.) The last three months were at an off site classroom. The schools caters to school districts who send children who have behavior issues, most resulting from emotional issues. It is definitely a challenging job, but has also been really good.
I also got engaged over the past year and I am currently, with my future bride, in the crux of wedding planning. It's not always what I would consider fun, but has been good. During this process, we have been doing premarital counseling. That has been super awesome. Ben and Dara is the couple who has been talking with us and they are phenomenal people who I have quickly grown to love. Talking with them, however, is what may have made me the most discouraged. Not at anything they did or said. Simply what was revealed through our talks.
A few weeks ago we were talking about finances and both Ben and Dara suggested we should live off of one of our salaries so that if we decided to have children it wouldn't be a nearly impossible adjustment to make. I thought this was an excellent idea, so Sarah and I sat down to make a budget. We decided to use my salary because, at the moment, I have a full time job with benefits and Sarah is still working part time doing design work. We used a work book and some online sources to create a spreadsheet that uses percents. For a nerdy guy like me, it was fun creating, until I entered in my salary and looked at the money we had for all of our stuff for the year... It was at this point I became super discouraged. I know I don't make a lot of money, but looking at what we had to spend on housing and groceries and, worst of all, "fun" stuff seemed like nothing. My excitement for marriage went from way high to ... really?!?... I was still super stoked to marry Sarah, it just seemed impossible with that much money. Seriously, how can Sarah and I be comfortable with a budget like that...
Talking with Ben and Dara helped me to realize the good God can do if we trust Him with this, but it wasn't until I was talking with my cousin Brian that I truly go a glimpse of God at work. We were talking about a book he has been listening to called More or Less. The basic premise is that as Americans, we typically have enough and how we need to be more willing to give of what we have. But as I talked about this book with Brian, I realized how much I have lived in excess over the past several years. I was by no means wealthy, but I had enough and would quickly spend on things I didn't need. I enjoy Starbucks coffee, but being a Gold Member there is not something I'm proud of. I am typing this on my iPad as I check e-mails on my iPhone. I wake up each morning with a choice of what to eat for breakfast and pack for my lunch. I have freedom to choose so much. As I sat and thought about all of my excess, I just felt God saying "Trust Me and watch what I can do with you". I thought about what Ben and Dara told be, about how God had done some incredible things in their lives because they were able to trust Him, giving freely, KNOWING God would provide for their needs.
So are you living in excess? My challenge is to sit down and think about all the things we live with that we don't need. What is are you spending money on in excess that you could be using to bless others and glorify God? I'm not calling anyone out or trying to belittle anyone. I just want you to think about how much you have and how much you give. Maybe God just wanted to convict me. Maybe this blog is for me to read through time and time again and be reminded that I must be willing to give. I don't need that perfect apartment, I just need one that Sarah and I can fit in. I don't need my weekly dose of Starbucks, that freshly ground cup of 8 o'clock was pretty tasty today. I should be searching for ways to bless others with my excess, not searching for was to spend the excess I have. I truly believe God has put me in this position because HE wants to bless others through me and HE will be glorified through it. I only hope I can trust Him enough to allow Him to work. I hope you will all keep me accountable to living faithfully to Christ and trusting Him, especially with my finances.
For those who want to, you can actually download the book More or Less on Noisetrade.com. It is a wonderful site you should check out anyhow. You can download music, and even books sometime, by donation. Yes that means you can download stuff for free if you wish.
Well until next time, I love you guys and I hope God has given you something. As always, comment or email me at optimisticprime15@gmail.com with anything. E-mail me if I haven't blogged in a while... sometimes I need some help with that :).
Optimistic Prime
PS. Please tweet, facebook, other social media this. I want to get this out there and see what God can do. PEACE.
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